Children look to their parents for comfort, strength, support, and stability. When parents of children of any age make the decision to get divorced then there becomes the question of what is forever, and what will become wavering. While there are many people who go through divorce these days, there are also many children who suffer from the impacts of divorce on their mind and emotions. One of the most common impacts of divorce on children is the element of the child feeling like it is his or her fault. No matter how many times parents try to explain what is happening and why it is happening, many children tend to take accountability for the divorce internally. The child fears that it is because he or she misbehaved, or because he or she was “bad” at one point or another. This is because of the fact that most often when raising children, parents tend to try to correlate bad behavior with consequences. Therefore, when there are consequences, the child correlates the perceived punishment with bad behavior. Divorce is a confusing and challenging event for everyone involved. When parents get divorced, the child starts to feel unsure about elements of his or her life that he or she had never questioned before. Furthermore, the child will typically begin to act out in violent or negative behaviors in an effort to process the feelings of sadness, anger, and disappointment.
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I am only at Tip #2 and can already feel my “inner writer” coming back to life. I’ve been torturing myself for so long — many new ideas and perspectives to share and nothing but dread at the thought of the actual writing. I was always such a “good student”, and by the time I finished grad school I no longer enjoyed either reading or writing. Pretty sad statement, even sadder that the ill effects have lasted three decades.
The only writing advice I’ve read so far basically boils down to: it’s work, you just have to do it, set aside a specific time and force yourself…. all about as appealing as my mother’s shoe leather lamb chops. I can’t thank you enough for your approach. I think it’s going to work for me, and just know I am immensely grateful beyond what words can express. Yes!