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A place where I would like to see more from you is the descriptions. You’re good with the objective style of it, but it would help to spice up the word choices with words that carry emotion as well as information. Consider these:  A musky smell greeted him.  A musky odor assaulted him. In the same word count you get the additional info that the smell is strong (assaulted vs. greeted) and unpleasant (odor vs. smell). These kind of things help the reader get into your MC’s head without impacting the speed of the story. Though, as with anything, don’t overdo it or you end up becoming Robert E. Howard (great stories, but a tad over-written).